MR. Jones
By David.KEdited by C.T.
This is a story of two brothers, Jeff and Mike. They are about to embark on a camping trip, but they do not know now that it will change their lives.
"Mike, wake up! We need to prepare for the trip!"
"What trip?"
"The camping trip!"
"Oh yeah," said Mike. Mike very quickly arose from his bed in a ragefull manner, storming toward Jeff with a crazed look in his eyes.
Jeff exclaimed,"What are you doing!I hate it when you do that Mike."
"Well im sorry, I just cant help it."
"Well stop fucking around."Said Jeff.
The brothers got dressed and went into the kitchen to eat breakfast.Jeff was making coffee, and Mike was slamming his dick into the burning hot waffle iron.
"Aaahhh shit.Mike, what are you doing?"
"I dont know."Said Mike.
Jeff was standing quiet while the coffee brewed thinking,"Why is Mike so messed up?" The coffee was finnaly done and Mike was doing something right. He was making eggs. They both sat down at the table and got into an engaging conversation about the trip.
"when i get into the woods,"said Mike,"Im going to take the hugest crap in the woods. Preferably on a tree stump." Jeff replied,
"Why?And why on a tree stump?"
"I dont know."Said Mike.
"Well, anyway, lets get packed."
The boys packed some clothes, food, water, sleeping bags and tents. Mike also packed a 9mm and 20 rounds.
"Ok, lets get in the car Mike."
"Ok Jeff.Hey, do you think wel go fishing?"
"Aw crap."said Jeff.
Jeff ran inside and got a couple of poles and lures. While Jeff was away, Mike spit on Jeffs seat. He didnt know why.Jeff walked out with the poles and lures in hand. He put the stuff in the trunk. He then opened the door and proceded to get in the car.
"What are you laughing about?"
"Oh-No-thing"said Mike
"well lets go"
Jeff backed the car out of the driveway.
"Hey, Jeff guess what."
Jeff rolled his eyes and prepared himself for something stupid.
"What?" he replied without the slightest interest.
"im pooping my pants right now."
"God dammit Mike! What the hell is your problem!"
"I dont know."Said Mike."It feels cool."
Jeff stared blankly at Mike for a few seconds before resuming his position driving.
"How many miles do we have to go?"asked Mike.
"At least 45."
"ok"said Mike
About 20 miles down the road, Mike began to comlain.
"Im humgry Jeff."
"Ok, well pull into this gas station up ahead."
Jeff put on the blinker and pulled slowly into the gas station. Jeff got out, and ounce it was confirmed he had money in his pocket, he went inside. Mike followed. While Mike was getting snacks, Jeff kept himself somewhat entertained by talking with the clerk."so whats your name?"said the clerk. "Jeff, You?" "my name is Mark." "how old are you?"said Jeff. "Im 21.22 this month." "What! You look like your at least 52" "Well it happened when I had an encounter with...MR. Jones!" "Whos MR. Jones?"asked Jeff. "You dont want to know." "Yes i do.Tell me." "ok, well it all started when I was camping at Tundra Peak about 30 miles from here," "Hold up! Thats where were going!" "I feel sorry for you. Id turn back if i was you." Jeff didnt listen. He arrogantly shunned Marks usefull advise and called Mike to the front of the store. "lets go Mike." "ok Jeff" "Hey! You have to pay for that!" yelled Mark. " Jeff spun on his ankles to face the man and just said,"No." They left the store, got in their car and resumed their trip. After driving 10 minuets they where almost at Tundra Peak. Then Jeff noticed someone on the side of the road. "Hey Jeff, isnt that Mark from the store?" Jeff was just about to pass Mark when he saw a sigh he was holding that said,"Turn back you poor pathetic fuck." This pissed Jeff off. He quickly swerved into Mark and hit him at about 55 miles an hour. "wow, look at him fly!" said Mike. "Its buitifull isnt it?" replied Jeff."And were almost there." Just then Mike began to scream, unreasonably loud, at the very top of his lungs,"YAH! YAH! YAH! YAH! YAH!" "Will you shut the hell up? Your driving me crazy!" "Sorry Jeff..." The boys finnaly made it into the woods, and before the car had even begun to stop, Mike leaped out of the window with joy, getting left behind in a ditch. Jeff saw it as pure stupidity. "Well, were here. What do you want to do?" Mike replied," im going to set up my tent, then im going to take my gigantic crap. On a tree stump too" Jeff looked at his watch, and seeing that it was nearly noon he realized he had all the time he desired. He walked to the trunk and opened it. He too wanted to set up his tent, and found a nice place to set it up only 5 feet from Mikes tent, and he bagan to work on it. While he was doing this, Mike snuck up on him. "Hey Jeff!" he said. When Jeff turned to see Mike bent over speadind his ass cheeks and shitting over a stump 2 feet from Jeffs tent. "Oh my God! What the hell is your Problem! Do you ever see me doing that!No.Its totally gross. I cant beleiv you can do such a thing!" "sorry Jeff..." Mike walked away, kicking the dirt as he walked with his pats still down."Hey Mike." When Mike turned, Jeff was doing the same thing Mike was doing. "Yah! You do care!" yelled Mike. "what do you say we grab a couple of beers and relax?" said Jeff. "ok, that fine." They got some chairs and sat down. When night started to draw near, Mike wanted a fire, so the two scavenged for firewood, but they had to walk very far from camp to get good wood. "ahhh.This is good." said Jeff sitting by the fire. "And it only gets better."replied Mike. Jeff had heard his brother say this few times in his life, and it wasnt ever a good thing. Jeff tunred back to look at the fire, and saw that a handgun was sitting in the fire. He sat there for a few seconds, pondering over the implications of the gun in the fire. When he realized how dangerous it was, he jumped out of his seat and ducked behind a tree. Mike just put his hands over his ears. Suddenly, a noise so loud leavs fell from the trees. It was a sharp noise, a pow! that could have scared the boldest of men. Mike began chuckleing, and Jeff started yelling. "Mike! Are you crazy! You could have killed us both! What where you thinking!" "I dont know."Said Mike. "Well lets go get more firewood..." And they both left to get more wood. As they where walking, Mike heard a noise like a pig squeeling its death cry. "Did you hear that?" he said. "I dont care,"said Jeff,"Im sick of your crazy shit. Its probobly nothing." But then the noise sounded again, this time too loud for Jeff to deny its realism. "Lets go back" said Jeff. "But we dont have enough wood." sais Mike. "Still its making me think...mabey..." "MR.Jones" Mike finished. "lets just go back" Jeff said. "OK!" Mike yelled at the very top of his lungs. "Christ Mike! Would you shut the hell up!" "Sorry Jeff" The two got back to camp, placing what they had of wood on the fire, and then went to sleep. But Jeff couldnt sleep. He lay in his tent awake long after the fire went out. Then he heard the noises again. "Mike!" he wispered. But Mike was asleep. Just then a huge hole was ripped in his tent. "AHHHHHH!!! MR.Jones!!!" He sat up quickly, and when he did the blade of a knife went straight through his forehaed, killing him instantly. Mike woke up imediatly, but hearing nothing thereafter, just layed back down thinking it was a dream. When he woke up the sun was just rising in the east and the day smelled fresh. He got out egggs, bacon, and some water. "Hey Jeff!" he called. None aswered. He just thought he wsa sleeping, and he continued his cooking. After 10 minutes passed, he got worried. Jeff was usually up before him. When he walked over, he saw the gash in the tent. he walked through it and saw his brother decapitated, spreading blood outward from the wound. Mike then shit down his brothers throat hole and went to sleep for no apparent reason.
THE END